Bugs and Lizards

Due to the rain, those 'rain insects' have swarmed the area, including
my room. They are harmless, I know, but the gentle landing of these
insects on any part of my skin could cause me to react violently,
thereby killing a harmless insect.

That is the least of my problems though.

As I sit here writing this, a small lizard is living under my bed,
coming out every 5 minutes to catch one of those insects for its
dinner. This seriously worries me.

No, not the killing.

I'm afraid that if the lizard finds his mating half, I'll have to ask
the lizard to start paying for his share of the space his brood is
taking up. If not, I'll have to go to court and get an eviction order stating that "Mr. and Mrs. Lizard, along with their 19 offsprings, will
have to move out of their present home to one considered more
suitable."

Any lawyers to recommend?