21 May 2006

The World's Most Disobedient Stapler

I own, without a doubt, the world's most disobedient stapler. Not only that, it has won the 3M Award for Excellence in Wasting Staples. You cannot imagine how much grief that little black bastard has caused me. Everytime I want to staple a few sheets of paper, I find myself proclaiming shit. I think the metal bar that pushes the staples down is a little crooked, which results in sharp little protrusions. Being the anal-retentive perfectionist that I am, I have to remove it and re-staple it. However, I can only get it right 1 out of 6 times, or rather, that little black bastard can only get it right 1 out of 6 times. So I sometimes spend about 3 minutes just to staple something in. And don't get me started when I try to staple anything beyond 4 pages. It is just impossible, I tell you.

Maybe that's what I get when I spend 99 cents on a stapler. Yes, the stapler comes from those 99 cents shops that were once popular. Maybe I should not place so much hope on a 99 cents stapler, but I believe that price is not indicative of quality. Maybe this time it is, but I have conveniently blocked this case out of my mind so don't bother trying to convince me otherwise. Ignorance *is* bliss, after all.

However, I do realize that this is my final semester and I need all the help I can get. So the next time when I was in a stationery shop I bought a more decent one for RM5.50. It claimed to be able to handle 15 pages. When I went home and tried it, I got an orgasm from the sheer strength of the stapler! What took the old stapler 5 times, took the new one only once. And I exerted only half the energy as well.

So, ignorance is bliss, but a good stapler is HEAVEN.


William said...

This message is sponsored by MAX:

The stapler is not the only factor in getting a quality stapling experience. The staples are just as important. Get MAX brand staples. There will surely satisfy.

MAX staples are recommended by most major stationery shops nationwide.

I'm done.

Prince of Darkness said...

Hmm I'm using MAX brand too. Get a bigger stapler, that'll concentrate ur force to the papers, I can stap up to 10 pages of my assignment ah. No prob at all, but then when I step you'll hear a huge bang from my room. I usually put e stapler ready in position and bang it, so it'll be done...

*Reminder, this only happens when my assignment is thick ok....not all the time o else there'll be a hole on my table :)