23 May 2006

Anal Retainers Anonymous

The hall hushed down as he took a step up on the podium.

His nervous voice broke the silence, "Er.. hi. My name is Zemien, and I'm anal-retentive."

"Hi Zemien!" the crowd shouted back in unison.

Zemien began his story, "It was only recently I realized that I am anal-retentive. I thought I'm a perfectionist, but the habit of making sure everything is correct extends way beyond perfectionism. Even the smallest defect makes me cringe in horror."

Some in the crowd nodded their heads knowingly.

"When I fold pieces of paper, it has to be properly aligned or else I'd start over. Also, when I prepare sandwiches I always make sure that all the edges align properly or I'll feel a cringe of disappointment."

"My personal idol is Bree Van Der Kemp from Desperate Housewives, although I am changing my ways now. It was watching her obssessing with every little detail in her life that made me realize that I might just be like her."

"Thank you for listening. Thank you to my sponsor, and I hope to be back on track as a healthy citizen with your support."

Applause rang throughout the hall, and some of the senior members looked proud that Zemien had taken such a bold step forward in admitting his weakness. Of course, they took great care to ensure their teardrops did not stain their beautiful clothes.

9 comments:

William said...

Anal-retentive? In what way leh?

ZemieN said...

Oh... in so many little ways. People would think it's just perfectionism but I know better, and it's scaring me.

William said...

So, you shall "perfect" your life by removing this little "blemish"? *grin*

Striving for the best is not wrong, just know when to stop and not to obsessive about it.

William said...

Oh yeah, I forgot tom mention, I'm a notorious under-achiever. Haha.

joshua said...

My my, who else deserves to reign as the Supreme Princess of ARA but YOU my dear friend?

Innocent^^Guy said...

wat is anal? i mean anal retentive

ZemieN said...

william: gee, guess i AM being anal-rententive by trying to be less anal-rententive?

joshua: While the title of Princess comes with many perks, I still prefer to be a King. But I am still on the throne, so bow before me, lowly subjects!

innocent^^guy: Look it up at Wikipedia. Basically it is like a hyper version of perfectionism. For reference, please observe Bree on Desperate Housewives.

William said...

Dry stuff ahead:
To be philosophical, only God is perfect or we are as perfect as He allows us to be. We can only achieve a semblence of it.

Anonymous said...

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