Paternal Instinct

I had another weird dream last night, which I felt represented a repressed need in my life. I dreamt that two of my friends, Alvin and Jay, adopted a baby. Alvin and Jay are room mates, so I can see why I would visualize them as "parents". But the strange part wasn't that two male teens adopted a baby, but how jealous/resentful I felt.

I vaguely remembered not being too happy with A&J for having the child. I think I always wanted to have their kid around me (although he isn't mine) and was upset when he wasn't. Those are the main parts of the dream that I remember, and the more I think about it, the more I feel terrified by its symbolism.

I never felt I have a great paternal instinct. I like kids when they are not whiny/screaming/crying/uncooperative. I can be a good brotherly figure and play with the young 'uns. But I never really imagined myself in the role of a dad, taking care of a child's every need. And yet, in the dream I exhibited such behaviour. Or maybe it's just an extension of my natural tendency to care for others. But I think that's just blowing my own trumpet too much, so I'm gonna stick with the 'paternal instinct' explanation.