My Worst Pattern

If you have read Andrew Matthew's classic motivational book Being Happy, you would have learned all about patterns. Basically they are like habits, things we keep doing, but it is more rooted in our subconscious and we may not be aware of it. The most infamous Malaysian pattern is of course the I-will-turn-up-late pattern. And within each of us, there are also other positive and negative patterns, such as the I-always-get-cheated pattern and the I-don't-deserve-to-be-loved pattern.

Upon discovering our negative patterns, we might become defensive. "Of course I don't want to be poor! What kind of stupid people has that pattern?" True, you may not want to be poor, but your subconscious influences you to be so. Another aspect of patterns is that it is repeating - it keeps on proving itself. That's why people with positive patterns always seem to succeed, while people with negative patterns always seem to lose no matter how hard they try.

I read Being Happy almost three years ago, and about a week back I borrowed it from the libary again to refresh my memory. On my second reading I realized, to my horror, what my worst pattern is.

Everytime I am about to finish a piece of work, my mind wanders and I do something else to 'reward' myself. I would say, "Hey, I only have the Conclusion to write anyway. Why not watch an episode of Arrested Development first?" And then I'll end up postponing the work till the deadline draws near.

I have constantly noticed this pattern over the past few days, and it is indeed difficult to break free of such a negative pattern. However, I take solace in knowing that admitting I have the problem is the first step to recovery. I still haven't replaced my pattern with a positive one, but I know I'm doing my best and that's a positive pattern all by itself.

Readers, why not reflect on your positive/negative patterns and share it in the comments section or the TagBoard?