19 July 2006

The Joys of 3-Ply Toilet Paper

I recently ran out of toilet rolls. I usually use those Cutie Compact ones since their radio commercial boldly proclaims "Two rolls for the price of one!". And in fact, I agree. They are indeed more compact and the cardboard in the middle is smaller than others. Maybe it's more like "1.5 rolls for the price of one!" but let's not get into the debate regarding truth in advertising, shall we?

Anyway, I knew it was pointless buying a new packet because I will be leaving college soon and I want to minimise baggage. So I decided to buy them in loose form from the mini-market. I was initially hesitant because my penny-pinching alter ego knew the RM0.80/roll price was heavily marked-up. Plus, he whispered to me, "Must I remind you that it's not Cutie Compact? It's one roll for the price of 1.5!"

But cheapskate or not, there are worse things than wasting RM0.20, like... an unwashed anus? (Oops, once again I forgot to warn those who may be eating.)

So anyway, I bought a couple of rolls and was delighted to find out that they were high-quality, 3-ply toilet rolls! Imagine that! It was even embossed with flower motifs! And they are soft! My ass has never felt such pleasure before!

I would never be able to look at Cutie Compact the same again. Sure, it's 1.5 rolls for the price of one, but it breaks easily and is not embossed with abstract art. So for now, I'm enjoying every wipe with the 3-ply. Oooooo.... (squeals in enjoyment)

7 comments:

Moses da gr8! said...

hahahaha... I was loughing my heads off.. gosh.. a toilet tissue paper? I only use toilet tissue to wipe my bum dry.. coz I use water to clean up... using toilet tissue alone dont feel totally clean.. and always wash your hand! very important! hahaha... What a long comment for a toilet tissue.. such spoiled bum!

ZemieN said...

well, we do wat we gotta do to ensure we can step out feeling clean.

On a related note, David (my room mate) uses water only. No toilet paper at all unless situations demand it.

joshua said...

YOU ARE OFFICIALLY DECLARED AS A DISGUSTING MINGER!!!

William said...

You remind me of the Merovingian in The Matrix 2. Wiping one's ass with silk.

ZemieN said...

Spoken in the voice of Morpheus: Ahh, but is that silk you're touching?




Gawd, we geeks are pathetic.

William said...

Good one. You don't have to say that geeks are pathetic. We have Joshua for that.

ZemieN said...

yes, we DO have Joshua for that.

Joshua, the designated blog-flamer of Malaysia?