Trying Hard Not to End Up on WTF

I'm trying to solve a tricky programming problem involving timers, knobs, and acceleration. I can't think of an elegant way yet. I can only hope I don't end up as a Worse Than Failure article.

On a side note I really loved their recent article about The Cool Cam. It's one of the few articles with a happy ending. More importantly it goes to show that bosses must trust their developers sometimes. I'm printing it out and sticking it on my wall!