Pivotal Moments Part 5

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Near the end of 2004, Dad bought me my very own digital camera, the Canon Powershot A95. Needless to say I was very happy as it is a good camera. One day I went over to my ex-secondary school to see the school counsellor regarding the school's website. As I was walking to his office I bumped into my very good friend Charles (name changed to protect privacy). He was in Upper Form 6 then.

We exchanged greetings and I just couldn't wait to tell him about my new camera. Charles was interested in photography as well so I was quite sure he would be excited as well.

"Hey, guess what? I bought a new digital camera!" I exclaimed delightfully.

He looked at me blankly for a while and then said, "I have something important to tell you."

"Yes?" I could sense the urgency in his voice.

"My father passed away this morning."

I was shocked. Shaken to my core. I had to lift my jaw off the floor, but even that was hard because I felt paralysed. Charles' father? Passed away? But he's not even very old!

The feeling of shock was quickly replaced with the feeling of shame. Just 15 seconds ago I was practically boasting about some worthless digital camera in front of someone who had just lost a dear one! Granted, I didn't know about it beforehand but it still felt rude and so very inappropriate.

I immediately sat down with Charles and got more details. I attended the cremation ceremony and was very impressed with the overall calmness of the event. I attribute it to their deep Buddhist values.

That event marked the first (but not last) time I was confronted with a situation where my friend lost someone but I couldn't console them. I felt that I was somehow unqualified to comfort them as I have not gone through those emotions myself. But more importantly, I learned the lesson of tact. From that day forth, I always try to let other people speak first before I do, because they may have something far more important to say. I won't allow myself to get into such a weird situation again.